Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
