To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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