We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
