it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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