I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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