So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
