he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
