It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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