it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize