so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
did you just send me my own nude
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
