The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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