And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize