the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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