I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What drink are we having for lunch?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
