What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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