Nicole vs. Life
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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