Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
