I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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