I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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