yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
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Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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