I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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