She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
