I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am midnight drunk by noon
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
