I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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