i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
