Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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