OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
