oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
