this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
