who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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