Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
