I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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