i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize