woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
