Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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