You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
