hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I need a burrito and a hug.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
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you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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