I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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