How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
