If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize