yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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