In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
