She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
