Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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