Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
