so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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