relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
