sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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