Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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