Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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