Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
