you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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