Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
