i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
