It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
