yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
True college students do jello shots in the library
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
