Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
