hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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