party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just gargled with NyQuil
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
