Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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