you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
