I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
